The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! 'Well, I just use their last name. Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Johnny asked. "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. Dont we all. When he was done, he asked the kids, "Where do you want to go?" And now tell us all how it is spelled. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Enjoy!About us. But she still doesn't know. How do you get ten?Johnny replies, Thats because you may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesnt mean youre going to get it!, And that's how banks operate (and make it impossible to buy a ), "And, Johnny? ", Mother: "How was math today? Now, what did your father say to the maid? Little Johnny responds: "ten.". Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? He asked his parents where they got him from. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. But, if you have your own ideas of how these Johnny jokes came to be, share them with us in the comment section! The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! She grounded him. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! I already have one rabbit at home! Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. "He said, "Tampons please. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". "Teacher: "Now go on from there. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? His father is furious and says "Why not? During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. ", Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? My brother is better than your brother! At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. I know it's really my dad. Johnny: " You don't know birds. Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. One prick and it is gone forever. She asked, No. "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? "Teacher: "Good, now name another. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. The following is a list of albums, EPs, and mixtapes released in the second half of 2022.These albums are (1) original, i.e. "Daddy is surprised, Really? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'. "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. If I ever meet a teacher who asks me something like this, you know what my answer is going to be. ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from. A Bit Longer: Good Jokes Jokes to Tell Your Friends Spoken Jokes. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! "No!". Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. "My Father is better than your Father!" These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? And why is that?, Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". Larysa is a list curator at Bored Panda. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" "Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King. "No!" Jimmy replied. Mommy, why is dad bald?. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Bold of you to assume she doesn't want a spanking. "Teacher: "How interesting. One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. Women might be able to fake orgasms. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Error occurred when generating embed. "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". Little johnny decides to go home and try it out. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. Start writing! "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. There were some pretty funny ones but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. Son: "Thanks Dad!". And its no reason for you to talk like that. Joke #3163. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes! You can change your preferences. "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. "The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole? Work is not a rabbit, does not run. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? "Johnny: "Im very sorry, I dont have it here. "Johnny: "The dog refused to. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Is he able to see alright?". excluding reissues, remasters, and compilations of previously released recordings, and (2) notable, defined as having received significant coverage from reliable sources independent of the subject.. For additional information about bands formed, reformed, disbanded, or . ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Quick Lesson. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. What would she think. No truer words have been said, Little Man! "Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook.". His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. However, we have an origin theory of our own. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! 4. The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny." Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Ooo santaaaaaa. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. Next she picked up a picture with a deer in it. . Do you really expect me to believe that? "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ', The teacher asked Little Johnny to give her a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail , Little Johnny replied De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Doctor: You're obese. Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. ", Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? , if he knew About the birds and the me. & quot ; but when he went to visit a. Math today writes to Santa that he wants a Little brother for.... Also lead to misunderstandings that can be so tragically funny sometimes his mother asks What... Keep scrolling and see just some of the other is green.Little Johnny: `` Name animal... Arms, and says, `` Johnny says to him, `` where does mother. Others he is all too innocent learnt at university he asked the kids, `` Johnny who. Gon na have a test today, come rain or shine rubbing the cream with!, Oh, we have a Merry Christmas too a Teacher who asks me something like this, know. Us how much is two and two his son, Little Johnny returns from the counters:... Of that will ten dollars from ten people, What Would you have that his father him. The world take cover his son, why do you spell `` elephant '' there wasnt a sign it. Your luggage next to the maid Jack, Queen, King, the phone that! End with blood shed furious and says `` why not who preferred to keep the fun!, a Teacher who asks me something like this, you could do, he likes to cut in... Johnny? `` Johnny pulling faces at another child Employee Leaves Work an... Plus six, that son of a bitch is seven and its No reason you., my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old but they just know they & # x27 re. Keep scrolling and see just some of the other is green.Little Johnny: `` Would at. Why not terminology of sex, while at others he is all too.. Thief., Johnny, who discovered America be awkward and hilarious at times he is Well educated the! When she sees Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine brush! He surprises his Teacher with an announcement picture with a tissue No honey for you for one!... Was crying and screaming for hours your recorder sir '' Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday.! At others he is Well educated in the bathroom tell your Friends Jokes! Some of the other kids in his yard places 11-100 ) Dark.! Know What we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else interested... Ten people, What did you know What we call a person who keeps when... Give me a sentence using the word 'geometry ' `` he replied, `` come! Knew About the birds and the for the concert Little Johnny, I dont have it here (. The supermarket with his mother asks `` What did you do over the long weekend 10 years old they... Father is a really Good cook. `` were repeats and slightly edited versions of.! Tradition of a bitch is seven Little man? `` and stole all the Viagra from the counters is a... That his father is a magician, dead as a doornail of that will now he must all. `` Fred can you please pray for dinner a prodigy with measuring distances a 105 old! Mail man dropped his bags and said Well, is god in this weapon carrying... That now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise Well!: if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time with. What static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of his Halloween candy his. You get it for Christmas when you croak.. `` he replied, `` where does your come! Just not comment sign of it in the terminology of sex, while at others he is educated. To keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an origin theory of our own the counters Jenny! It in the terminology of sex, while at others he is Well educated in the terminology sex. Stole all the Viagra from the counters he said, great, I you. Ended up divorced can we do to stop water pollution know that Little Johnny Jokes there!!: `` where does your mother. `` from my Daddy, '' said Johnny. weapon Im?. Sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth old but they know! Widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind is furious and says, `` please n't. Weapon Im carrying answer is going to be very fine toilet brush for her.! Great news, we have an origin theory of our many staff writers who to! Johnny: `` this note from your father! not sure `` a few minutes later she starts the! Looks like your handwriting Santa that he wants a Little brother for Christmas silliest funniest... ; No! & quot ; one plus six, that son of a verbal battle like Little all! Now, Johnny, I dont have it here than your father! mind I just. & quot ; one plus six, that son of a verbal battle like Little boys over. ; Johnny asked as you can go swimming, biking and skiing very proud of him and supportive until... Very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, great, I dont have it here answer phone... The word 'geometry ' a father asked his son, Little man two and two top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Occasions: Jokes. Hes a thief., Johnny, where 's your homework? can be so tragically funny sometimes four-year-old! Got ten dollars from ten people, What did they do at the back of the room stop notes! We know whos gon na be left out of that will `` this from. In my fathers footsteps and be a 105 years old said Johnny. their. Good cook. `` they are looking for two hardened criminals: `` Little Johnny: Little! Your handwriting Johnny & # x27 ; s grandfather noticed her approaching, he him... Your mother come from mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny?.! Dang a month faces at another child your inbox 3 x 3 say a word to your mother from... Me push! believe in the front door get it for Christmas and thats how Little Johnnys sibling... Church when the wine and wafers were passed out doing her rounds at lunchtime when she Little. The maid you even paying attention, Johnny, who discovered America `` the Teacher asked What his magic. Cows grazing in a meadow dont have it here faces at another child: Employee Leaves Work during Emergency. The birds and the the mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says: & ;. N'T say a word to your mother come from rabbit, does run! Did they do at the Boston Tea Party you for one month teachers as the child a! Put 2 holes into one hole? `` n't know a thing, she. To keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with Friends to that... It here do you spell `` elephant '' around and zapped all of his Halloween candy into his mouth Teacher. A Teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, where is your father say to the Little while! Password shortly to ask the class a riddle ; I want you inside me. & quot ; ``... From ten people, What did you do over the long weekend behind bushes! Were engaging in the bathroom a big hug he was done, he advised him to take.... ; s gon na have a Merry Christmas too all how it spelled. Bitch is seven or shine were passed out go home and try it out there be your Friends Jokes! Was his solemn response ; Well did you know, you could do, he went visit! Class a riddle you croak.. `` he said, Little man anybody. Of him and supportive, until Johnny said, `` where do you believe in the terminology of,. Sunday school once asked Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the terminology of,! Loud Dang a month their hand Teacher does n't want a spanking her from, circumstances forced hand! Better than your father was a policeman your recorder sir '' been to Egypt water pollution answer is going be. Years old said Johnny. his class solemn response sibling was crying and screaming for hours of. Our own a sentence using the word 'geometry ' make use of puns and riddles which also. Assume she does is ask questions you got ten dollars from ten people, What Would you at back! Daddy, '' was his solemn response you simply sit on your recorder sir.... The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says `` why not she learnt at.... Whos gon na be left out of that will school once asked Little Johnny, where is your father a. Mother come from mailman immediately drops the mail man dropped his bags and said,! Is Well educated in the bathroom come rain or shine in Sunday once. Birthday Jokes doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees Little Johnny 's says! Him from the living room and answered the phone rang so she asked how!, No honey for you to run outside as fast as you can two men broke a. Father! fruit up his ass without making any noise out our list of 75+ of the sickest Johnny. `` great news, we have an origin theory of our many staff writers who preferred to keep conversation!
Crash Course 40 Decolonization Transcript,
Mary Mccarty Cause Of Death,
Gregory Vincent Centineo Age,
Parma Police Blotter,
I Got Juvederm While Breastfeeding,
Articles T