Also, wanting variety doesn't mean you don't love the person you do. [YES, HERES WHY], Examples of Scaffold Parenting & How It Works. But he wants me to admit to the hubby that i am with him. My friend and I have known each other for 10 years, but most of that time we both thought there was too much of an age difference between us (17 years) and that we wanted different things out of a relationship. So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. Be careful to never belittle the things that your partner is passionate about (even if it might sound silly to you!). So.. I need help.. My husband and I have always been very close. I have been married for 4 years now with 2kids. He is faithful so that never crossed my mind, he just has physical disabilities that causes intercourse to be painful, and when it ceased so did all the intimacy. Ask away! The male gender tends to have multiple female partners in the wild. On a better night, you may wake up on top of the world after a sex dream about Rihanna. Ask yourself what you would do if he actually did cheat on you? 1 Why Your Husband Wants You to Sleep With Another Man. You are still married to your spouse, but somebody is coming to your life that has sparked very intense feelings of love. I do agree with all of the ideas youve presented in your post. A couple times later I found out he was on Craiglist looking to do these odd sexual things and i confronted him about it. But my problem is I cant let go of this guy. Last week, she decided to leave me, only to already regret it after one night we spent in separate bedrooms and ask for a little more time So, what would your ideal marriage look like? I want this co-workers attention and I get it, so I feel guilty. What would happen to your children? We met over 2 years ago he lives in Florida Ex girlfriend contacts me after 10 years. I knew I was not happy in my marriage; that there were things missing, and that I was very, very lonely and had been for a long time. Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. Im just missing a connection, long talks, deep conversations, good sex, talking about problems, etc. When that bond begins to weaken, the relationship becomes vulnerable to outside factors that can damage it further. I have been patiently waiting for my husband while he has had this relationship for 3 months but im at my end. The simple association with it is enough to spark a persons dislike. That said and as I mentioned above, the fact that a person may develop serious feelings for someone other than their spouse does not automatically mean that they lose feelings for their spouse. I was wondering if he too thinks about me as much as I think about him because he broke it off for the sake of his marriage. Hi Sagittarius, first of all, your English is great! Together we can work on reaching your goal by providing you with a clear-cut action plan that has been tailor-made to fit your relationship, your situation, and your specific needs. Yet, I dont know what to do or even think and feel right now. 29 years old b. I am married, 37 year old woman, married 18 years 2 children Im newly married and my wife has a child. Deciding to let your partner sleep with someone else is not an easy thing to contemplate and must be given some serious thought. I saw a sudden reemergence of his vitality I hadn't . Hence please try and consider all the various components of this conundrum. So now back to today, this guy Ive spoken to is giving me attention and I think about all the things my husband has put my through and Im torn because on one side I have my husband who Ive built a life with has messed up on me throughout the years and took me to find out about his mess ups and tried to deny them and then on the other side I feel that I really do have someone who values me, wants to accept my children as his own, he has a daughter that I easily love as my own. Plus we have a lot of the same interests. Its like I disappeared, but he still wants me to be with him. So I want to save my marriage. At first I would answer with very friendly like responses,however, now we seem to have developed a physical and emotional relationship again, and my feelings have all come back. He gave me chills without even touching me. Telling hubby about this right now will not help you, the marriage or the kids. As soon as he walked in the room our eyes connected and I felt electricity throughout my body. And so we did. We then had a couple of times that we met and the feelings are unreal and very powerful. It could be that she simply wants to have an affair with another man, but does not want the hindrance of potentially getting caught out. Want it all but know I cant have it all and feel selfish for wanting it. I know that it is a very tough spot to be in, but it seems that you already know what you want to do. I do not want him to be in a fix because of my immaturity of realizing my feelings so late. We had a deep connection and since then i cantget him out of my mind. He was exactly what I needed and I fell in love with him. And it made me feel worse because I felt that I did the same infidelity that my spouse did to me about 7years ago. She sais she loves me, but she cant decide what to do, because the love for him is also strong or so she thinks. Okay, so your wife wants to sleep with someone else, whether a woman or a man, you understandably have reservations and concerns on the matter. He of course got extremely upset and it was more ups and downs where he would say I understand then cuss me out. And so much attached that i have lost interest in making any intimate or physical relation with my wife. When it comes tofalling back in love with your spouse, it is important that you listen to and respond to your partners love language, and meet their deepest emotional needs! Its been 12 years since the last time Ive dated this guy and I didnt think anything would happen considering he is married and has a daughter. The solution at this juncture is to think about what you need in order to be truly happy: Your current marriage or being free of it? I feel like me and my kids mother were meant to be and she makes me feel wanted and loved and I cant control the way I feel about her . I wrote a lengthy article onwhen to get a divorce, and if you are feeling very unsure about whether or not you should leave this marriage I highly encourage you to read it. Dont leave the marriage for another person, though. If you aremarried and have fallen in love with someone else, it is crucial that you are very honest with yourself from here on out. To your husband, he wants you to have a taste of something different. I am not married but we have been together for 17years but I am going though the same guilt as if I was as I have met my soul mate my soul mate is married and I am waiting for him to divorce Which he is going to do he decided that the bond with his wife was there anymore i am waiting for him to divorce Which I said i would wait for him to divorce by the way we have not had a affair never did uf you understand what meeting your soul mate when your both in relationships Tom will be un contact with me when he is free But then again, if she decides to save our marriage, do I know, that she really is happy with her decision? When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. Just because your husband thinks it is ok to have sex while you are separated does not mean you have to agree it is ok. Close. Have you told him , about what you want do sexually ? He listened to me. Well that only lasted 2 sessions, even his psychologist recommended that he go to sex aholics anonymous. Weve probably been close for about 4 years. Six years ago, I asked him for a separation and he agreed then backed off. Ive asked him countless times to talk to me about what he wants, he says he doesnt want to talk. We separated (even though we continued to talk everyday and spend time together) and he met this girl on bumble a couple of days after leaving. In our busy lives, many people don't feel like they get to spend enough time with their partners, and this is especially important for those of us whose love language is quality time. heart of hearts that youre not up for addressing and solving these issues, then the For other people we are the perfect couple. Ny feelings are all over the place right now and even though I know what I really want to do which is be with her I dont want to hurt my wife but at the same time Im tired of living my life for everyone else and I want to do something that I want to do for a change in my life and what I think is best for me. But here's my issue. So we never really considered dating each other. I moved my children to Florida with their grandparents and told him I was done with the relationship that he needed to figure out what he wanted to do. Humans have the same predisposition. Do I let him come home and just let time I need physical touch, words of affirmation, and my Husband is the complete opposite. It feels like my marriage is done, and we are just married for 1 year. But when life is forced to start and plans will have to be made with this girl He will see how our marriage was good. Sometimes the ride is so wild that you wind up in uncharted territory, with no idea how to proceed. During that time, we have each had some feelings for each other at some time or another, but neither of us really mentioned it. When you got married to your husband or your wife, you thought that you were in it for the long haul and that the love that existed between you would never be threatened. She really wants it. My family adores him and his family adores me. This drives me crazy! Archived. Finally, remember that your wifes sleeping with someone else cannot be undone, and you must be sure that you are aware of how it will genuinely make you feel once it has happened. With time, youll both start feeling, Im so in love with you and your bond can become stronger than ever. Hi Matt, thanks for reaching out. Ive been married for 3 years but weve been together for 9 year. If you are still feeling unsure about how youre going to get to the other side of this situation and find true happiness,all you have to is get in touch with me or a member of my team. What was hurting me and why and what could we do to fix it. I told him, the respect is there, but the love has long been gone. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. clarity in regards to the situation with your colleague. but the one who has been with girls before which happens to be the one in the marriage that isnt working at all doesnt trust that her bestfriend / love of her life will leave her husband for her. I dont want to leave my husband and destroy my family, but I also know that the way Im feeling in my marriage now isnt how I want to feel forger. His father just passed away and he is broken. But i dont want to lose him or what i have with him. Right before I left my spouse threw a huge tantrum where he was punching Walls and he jumped out the car while I was driving. My husbands a good father nd tries to take care of me as much as he can but then he doesnt take care of my emotional needs. Or will she regret it? I had resigned myself to this situation and decided to sit in the relationship due to our kids and financial commitments. At this point, I encourage you to think about the results of whichever choice you decide to make. In addition to this, I often see people making excuses. Hi John, I am sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation. Hi Elle, this is definitely a tough situation. Hi Kj, it would appear that youre willing to move on from your relationship with your boyfriend of 2 years. I feel as now we are acting like roommates and not husband and wife. Reading your story made me realize men hide their feelings. I am at the point where i dont wanna try anymore. If you want to save your marriage, then it must be an active choice you make every single day. I would encourage you to spice things up with your husband and challenge yourselves to try new things (both sexually and non-sexually). Someone once told me something very interesting. Our eye contact was something I never experienced before. He works out of town and I feed the dogs if our daughter is unable to, I run errands for him while hes on storm work bc I am still legally his wife. He has been back and forth with this girl for 3 months now. It may just be that she wishes to spice things up in her sexual life and, instead of replacing you, she merely wants more of a selection in fulfilling her sexual desires. Just recently he told me he has a desire to be with someone else. Though new love is always so tempting. Recently by complete accident I rekindled a relationship with someone I used to know via skype chat and we begun talking in the phone too. I also fell in love with someone who I worked with for a short time; I literally fell in love with him the first time I met him. Its hard bc I dont want to live without him, but also dont want him to be with me if he cannot be committed. The thing is, I dont talk to others about the issues I have with him. Your husband might just want you to have the utmost satisfaction sexually. However regardless of the situation I think the point remains, you either want your marriage to work or you dont. Im together with my husband for 9 years and we are married for 1 year. I dont know who I am anymore. In addition to that Ive recently been seeing someone who I feel understands me so much better. Speak to each other about the good things, reinforce them, make exciting plans and commit to exciting adventures. Once again, its all about seeking clarity! As I said, I cannot make this decision for you but I can give you some insight on the things to take into consideration when you arein love with another manor woman. In the beginning of what now is an affair, I tried to talk to my husband about my needs because I thought he deserves a chance to succeed but Im always met with some reason why I shouldnt feel that way. My husband is an amazing man, amazing father, but we have different needs and wants. I felt excited about Chris but not about my husband, and thats when I realized that something was wrong. LMFT licensed profesional. To access it, just click here. So all we want to say from the get-go is that you ought to be sure of the exact laws of the state or region in which you live and that this will not cause potential grief in the future. Anyway, about two months ago I had a job interview. Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic. Required fields are marked *. Hello I understand everything that was being said. I have fallen for this guy so much in the few months since we got together. You can get in touch with them directly by calling 1-800-799-7233, or if you are in a situation where you are unable to talk safely, you can log on to http://www.thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474. So the decision will be considering for children life only and the best for them financially. I'm very sorry you find yourself in this situation. Or if I try to I quickly change subject and act all good because of his reaction. Im married and I want to sleep with someone else, By entering this site you declare If the other man or woman happens to be a better sexual partner than you, then you need to ask her about this, and hopefully, you can learn how to please her better. I want to sleep with him. The fact of the matter is that in America, in 21 states, it is illegal to cheat on your spouse. I spoke to him this week and it seems neither hom or the woman involved have thought about how this would affect our now broken family and also their own relationship. He knows i am married but he knows my situation. Unfortunately, many people are met with the painful realization that the love between them and their significant other was allowed to fizzle away. I highly encourage you to spend as much time with your parents and surround yourself with people that love and support you as you begin to exit this relationship. Hi Im so glad I found your site How do you know your wife cheated on you? He constantly makes me feel like Im not a priority. When your husband expresses the wish to sleep with other women, you should say no and work on your marriage if you want to stay in it. real relationship with two people at the same time. My therapist suggested couples therapy but he doesnt want that. I know how hard this is because I deal with people who are in your shoes on a regular basis. Husbands parents live with us and have created huge problems between us. He is in every sense my best friend because we do everything together, well we did until his GF. I am torn whether i stay in a marriage and be happy but not in love or do i go to the other man who i have fallen deeply in love with? I didnt know what more I could do as a husband. That opened up conversation that lead to an affair. She didnt know what decision to take in order to move forward, which option to choose, and how do feel confident in her approach. My husband and I have full custody but allow him to see baby 1 time a week. To work with us, just click here. He just continues to do whatever he wants. Ive always looked at the other side but never played with fire. Be careful with how much you allow, because you are in essense teaching someone how they can treat you. If you are confident that this will be a good thing, though, and the two of you have dissected and discussed the matter thoroughly, then just try to enjoy the fact that your wife will experience something that she will hopefully be happy for. Your Questions Answered! Other reasons may be that she has had far fewer sexual partners than you have had in your life, and she wants some room to explore and learn what it is like to be with more than just one person. On top of that, we are all subject to social and familial pressures and the fear of letting people that we care about down. We only argue about affairs. A good sexual union, therefore, only happens if your wife builds a close, strong emotional bond with you. People who fantasize about someone other than their partner may also have fewer inhibitions and feel less constrained by the bonds of commitment. However, if you would rather focus on cultivating a romantic relationship with your friend, you will have to think about letting go of your marriage. You can definitely see your expertise within the paintings you write. Which I didnt want but I didnt want to keep fighting anymore and being told horrible things. So I learned who I am, I studied, I got a good career, Im very interested in psychology and love to talk and philosophize. Can a man truly love his wife but still want to have relations with other women? 1. He also has erectial issues and cannot perform except for 2 minutes and then its over. Now have a daughter whos just months old. The two main problems I have with my marriage is communicating and sex. The more you can associate your marriage with the feelings of excitement, the less attracted you will be to your childhood boyfriend. Related Reading: Husband Wants Me To Sleep With Another Woman. They were also more likely . We do not sleep together anymore for years now. What would your parents think? Hi Shauna, the issue is that your husband is taking you for granted, and the more hes allowed to get away with, the more he will continue to do so. 283 Likes, 60 Comments - Richa (@urbanmantra1) on Instagram: ""Mama, I want to marry you", said Krishnav the other day. My husband and I have been married for about 2 years and have a daughter together and I have helped raise his son since infancy. I have let my husband know that I am willing to work on the marriage he seemed to be on the fence but due to our long distance relationship and him still being encouraged with his other relationship its hard to try and fight for my marriage. I reconnected with an old friend and I have fallen in love with him. I want to know how it feels to have sex with someone else. Married but sleeping with someone else - "My husband loves it even though he's faithful to me" 30 January 2023 By News Room Rae Nemetsky is 22 and describes herself as a "hot wife" or "hotwife" as they call her. My heart was on flame for this man that helped me for my husband. 1.4 4. He derives pleasure from voyeurism. In that same vein..are there things you used to do with others that you don't do with him? For 4 months now, ive developed a feeling for someone i havent even met personally. I have wanted to leave my husband many times over the years and for different reasons never have. 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